Last week I received a message from an old friend. He had some news to share. But sharing news was just an excuse. “What I really want to do is to say thank you,” he wrote. “Thank you for the friendship you've shown me this year and in all the time we have known each other…I just wanted to say thank you for being a pal.”
As always I don’t open your emails until I am sitting quietly in a nice place to fully enjoy them ( tonight by the fire in my rental by the sea ) ..as they always bring a smile and give me hope that the everyday occurrences you recount not only enrich our lives but remind us how important connection is ..
One doesn't normally have to ask another's name to learn it - all one has to do is proffer one's own. I love Dunbar's numbers. I have just arrived in Denver Colorado - after a week in south-west Florida - my wife and I - with a brother - a little brother - who applied for the position a couple of years back when my own (and only) little brother suddenly passed away. The replacement little brother is out of the Caribbean and a truly remarkable life. One of his older sisters married one of my close English second-cousins - and I met him a dozen years ago at a family wedding in Shropshire. He was truly impressive - we've met one of his aunts several of his sisters and his older brother - and during our visit one of his oldest friends from their days in Trinidad - though both from the St Vincent & Grenadines archipelago. He might just be among the magic five - definitely within the 15... A younger English friend during my days in Japan suggested that we know our closest friends because they are the ones to whom we feel able to discuss anything. I thought about that for some time and realised it was true - not that I might have wanted to necessarily inflict my disquiets on them - but knowing that I might do so - helped me decide who fitted within the first circle of five. And what a fine gesture from your good friend - to thank you.
What a lovely dissertation on friendship, thank you Ryan. The Roseto effect rang a bell with me because I went to a funeral the other day of a founding-father resident of our 19-year-old apartment block of 16 units. Rino was 91, Italian heritage but originally from Croatia. Rino (short for Guerrino) even supervised the final stages of the building here and instigated a routine of residents bringing in all the bins once they’d been emptied to avoid that sad abandoned-bin look so often a feature of higher density living.
Rino’s dear wife died a couple of years ago but two unmarried daughters remained with Rino in the apartment directly above us.
This feisty little guy who had many health issues (an amputated leg the result of sepsis being the least of his worries) loved company so during the daytime his front door was always open and he had plenty of visitors. I used to make him cantucci (Italian almond biscuits). The last time his health was failing and Rino was asleep in his chair so I left the cellophane package on a side table. When daughter Susy came home from work, he’d already tucked in and he knew I had made and delivered them.
We can all learn from Rino’s welcoming open-door policy. World leaders, ordinary people — I’m even giving it serious thought. Rino embodied the Roseto effect of community and inclusion. He will be much missed. We need more Rinos
I've been thinking a bit about friendship lately too Ryan.....after moving away from the place I lived for 30+ years.... I really miss my friends. I'm doing my best to get out and meet people, but everyone so far up here just seems to prefer to engage in a one way conversation.
I have made one friend though - a little heifer calf. If I sit quietly she ambles over and starts chewing my laces. One of the benefits of animal friends is that you can give them a name - so I gave her a name today. Scarpa. (after my scarpa shoes and the laces she loves)
Thank you ..
As always I don’t open your emails until I am sitting quietly in a nice place to fully enjoy them ( tonight by the fire in my rental by the sea ) ..as they always bring a smile and give me hope that the everyday occurrences you recount not only enrich our lives but remind us how important connection is ..
One doesn't normally have to ask another's name to learn it - all one has to do is proffer one's own. I love Dunbar's numbers. I have just arrived in Denver Colorado - after a week in south-west Florida - my wife and I - with a brother - a little brother - who applied for the position a couple of years back when my own (and only) little brother suddenly passed away. The replacement little brother is out of the Caribbean and a truly remarkable life. One of his older sisters married one of my close English second-cousins - and I met him a dozen years ago at a family wedding in Shropshire. He was truly impressive - we've met one of his aunts several of his sisters and his older brother - and during our visit one of his oldest friends from their days in Trinidad - though both from the St Vincent & Grenadines archipelago. He might just be among the magic five - definitely within the 15... A younger English friend during my days in Japan suggested that we know our closest friends because they are the ones to whom we feel able to discuss anything. I thought about that for some time and realised it was true - not that I might have wanted to necessarily inflict my disquiets on them - but knowing that I might do so - helped me decide who fitted within the first circle of five. And what a fine gesture from your good friend - to thank you.
What a lovely dissertation on friendship, thank you Ryan. The Roseto effect rang a bell with me because I went to a funeral the other day of a founding-father resident of our 19-year-old apartment block of 16 units. Rino was 91, Italian heritage but originally from Croatia. Rino (short for Guerrino) even supervised the final stages of the building here and instigated a routine of residents bringing in all the bins once they’d been emptied to avoid that sad abandoned-bin look so often a feature of higher density living.
Rino’s dear wife died a couple of years ago but two unmarried daughters remained with Rino in the apartment directly above us.
This feisty little guy who had many health issues (an amputated leg the result of sepsis being the least of his worries) loved company so during the daytime his front door was always open and he had plenty of visitors. I used to make him cantucci (Italian almond biscuits). The last time his health was failing and Rino was asleep in his chair so I left the cellophane package on a side table. When daughter Susy came home from work, he’d already tucked in and he knew I had made and delivered them.
We can all learn from Rino’s welcoming open-door policy. World leaders, ordinary people — I’m even giving it serious thought. Rino embodied the Roseto effect of community and inclusion. He will be much missed. We need more Rinos
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I've been thinking a bit about friendship lately too Ryan.....after moving away from the place I lived for 30+ years.... I really miss my friends. I'm doing my best to get out and meet people, but everyone so far up here just seems to prefer to engage in a one way conversation.
I have made one friend though - a little heifer calf. If I sit quietly she ambles over and starts chewing my laces. One of the benefits of animal friends is that you can give them a name - so I gave her a name today. Scarpa. (after my scarpa shoes and the laces she loves)